Miley Cyrus’ (of Hannah Montana fame) kid sister and her parents allegedly signalled clear clothing line intent at a Halloween party last year when Noah appeared decked out in a black lace-up mini dress with matching PVC knee-high boots. Some heavy make-up and bright red lipstick complemented the outfit, leading to some commentators to coin the word ‘prostitot’ to describe her look. Remember, the kid is nine-years-old.

Far from being lauded as an entrepreneurial prodigy, Noah and her parents have become the latest lightning rods for those who blame marketing for the premature sexualisation of children, particularly young girls.

It would be all too easy to dismiss these pre-pubescent beauty queens as some sort of irrelevant Americana freak shows but that would belittle the considerable influence celebrities (manufactured or otherwise) have in marketing products. Time magazine last year named big sis Miley Cyrus among its 100 most influential people on the planet.

Targeting the tween influencers
Tweens have traditionally been classified as pre-teens from eight years up. These young ones have left Dora the Explorer behind and are starting to identify more with, gulp, Lindsay Lohan. No longer small children, tweens are starting to develop their own sense of identity and there is a lot of money to be made by tapping into their search for identity.

Children – particularly young girls – as young as six now seem to be fair game for marketing techniques focused on beauty, sexuality, relationships, and consumerism. Unlike many of their parents, tweens have never had to learn about computers and the Internet has always been here. Social networking is a natural part of their lives and a popular way for advertisers to reach them.

When it comes to viral marketing, some of the techniques employed by marketing experts to target tweens are nothing short of insidious. A Los Angeles firm GIA – short for Girls Intelligence Agency (www.girlgames.com) has registered up to 50,000 eight-year-old “secret agents” to influence their friends to buy certain products, such as mobile phones, clothes and beauty products. The girls who receive the products from GIA client companies are chosen for their persuasive personalities – alpha females or tween queens – whom their friends will want to be like.

“Her peers trust her opinion … We have to approve them. You know, important strategic business decisions are being made off of this eight-year-old and her friends, so we have to make sure she’s the right one,” said GIA CEO Laura Groppe, who estimates the global tween market is worth $335 billion.

The whole idea, Groppe says, is “seeding the market with these girls and their close crew of friends, and getting that information (about their preferences) back to the client and, at the same time, these girls are feeling it’s a privilege … to share this among their peers.”

This is a long way from a product endorsement by girl next door Hannah Montana, replete with baggy jeans and checked shirts.

Parent power vs. pester power
Marketing to tweens is a minefield and some executives seem hell-bent on self-destruction by ignoring the salient point that parent power will always triumph over pester power.

Wholesome Hannah is one thing, slutty Noah quite another. Regardless of who tweens want to emulate, parents of this age group will still have the final say when it comes to purchase. It is highly unlikely that little would-be Noahs’ will be strutting their stuff across Ireland. Even if they could afford the gear, tweens, unlike their elder teen siblings, cannot change in the car on the way to the party.

Parental concern for their children’s welfare will win every time. Marketing to tweens means keeping parents onside. Even Miley Cyrus is having trouble developing her post-Hannah career.

Look at the hordes of mostly early teen and tween girls who dragged their mothers to the sold-out Miley Cyrus concerts at the 02 last year.  Miley traded on her Hannah Montana persona to sell tickets but served up a raunchy set that had jaws dropping and media phone lines hopping as irate mothers vented their anger at the inappropriate nature of the performance.

As Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus may have made the Time magazine list but it is the nature of Disney’s Hannah Montana character that is influential, not Miley herself.

Marketers should remember that tweens don’t hold the purse-strings. If they want to tap a lucrative tween audience, they will have to keep responsible adults happy too.

Margaret E. Ward is a journalist and managing director of Clear Ink, the clear English specialists. Her daughter is a tween.
www.clearink.ie

Writing and speaking are tools for communicating a message. That’s it. Yet so many things – jargon, legalese, academic-speak, overly formal or informal language, too many words, poor grammar and punctuation – get in the way of good communication.

Clear Ink helps financial services, legal, media, health and technology firms, multinationals, government bodies and semi-states sell their products and services to customers using clear English. Our services include:

• Marketing writing  — brochures, letters, reports, newsletters, websites and more
• Editorial content — articles, blogs and clear English guides on any subject
• Editing and  proofreading — all documents: we make your hard work shine
• Writing skills training courses — Business writing in clear English, Think like a journalist  (advanced), Social media marketing on a shoestring (Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, GoogleAds and blogs) and more.

To get you started on your clear English journey, here are our top writing tips:

PLAN (figure out who you are, who you’re talking to, what you want to say)
1. Think of the audience. Before you write, put yourself in your customers’ shoes. Who are they? What are they interested in? What do they want/ need from you? If you don’t write for the reader by giving them something they need then you’ve lost them… and all your hard work has been wasted.

2. Specify your purpose. Why are you writing? Be as specific as possible. A detailed objective will help you choose your marketing strategy and writing style.

3. Choose a tone of voice. Formal, academic-style business writing is old-fashioned. Think about how you talk to your customers in person. Replicate this conversational style in your writing. It’s a balancing act but try to keep it professional yet friendly.

WRITE (deliver the message)
4. Treat customers with respect. There’s nothing worse than getting a letter or brochure that’s confusing, talks down to you or scolds you. Always use language that is appropriate to both the reader and the subject matter.

5. Get rid of jargon. Although the words and phrases of your profession and firm are familiar to you, it’s unlikely that most readers know your industry’s jargon. Language should not be a secret society handshake or a code to decipher. Writing is about communicating a message, not trying to impress readers with big words.

6. Look for the story. As humans, we relate to stories. That’s how we all learn and absorb information. Marketing writing is storytelling. Take the reader from the beginning to the end. Don’t jump all over the place. Imagine them asking you “So, tell me about yourself. What do you do? What can your company do for me?”

7. Have a sense of humour. Don’t you like to laugh? Well, so do your readers. Serious is boring. Zzzzzzzz. Sometimes a little unexpected, but appropriate, humour leaves a great impression. It shows you are a confident and relaxed professional – with the human touch.

EDIT (be the reader)
8. Cut, cut, cut. Most of us tend to overwrite. We use 20 words when five will do. Only use what you need to relay your message. If you’re having trouble removing information just put yourself in the reader’s shoes – what do they absolutely need to know?

9. Review your audience and purpose. When you edit, you are looking through a reader’s eyes. Does your document answer the reader’s universal question “What’s in it for me?” How do the words make them feel about you and your business? Will they feel called to action by your words – will they pick up the phone, email or buy your product?

10. Think visually. Marketing documents are not just words on a page. They should be a roadmap of easily accessible information. Do you have strong subheadings, topic sentences and “signposts” for the reader? Is it as visually appealing as it could be? There’s nothing worse than block after block of text to put readers off. Add engaging photographs, tables, charts, graphs where possible. Beautifully written and structured documents are a gift to your potential customers and existing clients so make them sparkle.

Need a hand pulling your marketing plan together? Call Mags on 087 2070495 or email Margaret@clearink.ie (By the way, this is our call to action so please DO it now.)

The men stand around wear ill-fitting hairpieces and dresses. The women do, too. Then a burly fellow pounds the ground with a big stick like Moses parting the Red Sea. The crowds in the hallway move aside to make way for… the judge.

The tipstaff and criers who lead judges of the Supreme, High and Circuit courts from their chambers to the courtroom create an impressive spectacle. They represent a tradition dating back to the founding of the Four Courts in 1796.

Back then, they had a more practical purpose.Tipstaffs carry a wooden or metal staff with a crown on the top. In the past, the crown was removed to reveal arrest warrants stored within the hollow shaft. It’s a quaint and fairly harmless tradition. However, another old-fashioned legal practice isn’t quite so charming or practical.

Legalese is causing great harm to our ability to communicate with one another.

Pomp and circumstance

Irish solicitors seem stuck in the 18th century, even when communicating with clients. It’s all pomp and circumstance. Legal letters, terms of engagement contracts, websites, marketing materials and even emails are sprinkled with Latin phrases, heretofores and thereins.

What legal practitioners don’t seem to notice is the way it makes clients feel and the barrier it creates between them. If a client does not understand a document they may feel stupid, ashamed or angry. This is not a great way to build client relationships.

The Lisbon Treaty is a classic example of legalese gone mad and we all know how the public felt about it the first time around. Here’s a sample: “Under the principle of subsidiarity, in areas which do not fall within its exclusive competence, the Union shall act only if and insofar as the objectives of the proposed action cannot be sufficiently achieved by the Member States, either at central level or at regional and local level, but can rather, by reason of the scale or effects of the proposed action, be better achieved at Union level. The institutions of the Union shall apply the principle of subsidiarity as laid down in the Protocol on the application of the principles of subsidiarity and proportionality. National Parliaments ensure compliance with the principle of subsidiarity in accordance with the procedure set out in that Protocol.” Lisbon Treaty, Article 3b, Paragraph 3

Last month, Secretary-General of the European Commission, Catherine Day, said legal language was necessary for the Lisbon Treaty. “It needs to be actionable later on in court” she told the Pat Kenny radio programme.

While it’s true that laws are written more for legislators than for members of the public, Plain English legislation is becoming the international norm. That makes good sense. Laws are written to help govern the people. If you can’t understand a proposed law how can you be expected to obey it or to debate for, or against, it before it is passed?

Misunderstandings and misinformation

During the first Lisbon treaty campaign the government did little to explain the document’s significance or counteract the emotive posters of the No campaign.  Maybe they didn’t know how?

The civil service has its own legalese dialect and our Taoiseach Brian Cowen is undoubtedly one of its native speakers. He’s from a political family so the poor guy probably grew up with civil-service-speak in his house.

Can you image the scene? His parents, when instructing the nanny to get the child some fresh air, may have said: “Going forward, the perambulations of the offspring will heretofore be undertaken with a childcare advocate in attendance. Said advocate will ensure the client obtains a measure of the appropriate levels of the two hydrogen-one oxygen combination as prescribed by parental recommendations.”

This communication style is highly infectious and trickles down to the government’s communications with Joe Public, their client. Even government bodies that are designed to represent and defend the people’s rights find themselves using phrases like “fettering their responsibility” without knowing why. They’ve been brainwashed with the jargon since they took their civil service exams.

What a feeling

When government officials, solicitors and business people use gobbledegook to communicate with their customers they are not doing their job. Professional jargon is often convoluted, elitist and weakens the writer’s intended message.

Client communications say something about the writer and the organisation. A jargon filled letter can provoke strong emotions in the reader. If the language is inappropriate to its audience, the reader may think the company is dishonest, incompetent or hiding something. Reputation is everything and clear communications ensure a lasting, and lucrative, customer relationship.

Legalese fits modern society about as well as those wigs fit barristers. It’s time to cast this tradition aside.

Margaret E. Ward is managing director of Clear Ink and a writing skills trainer for the legal profession. Blog: margaretward.ie

My post-box is jammed with letters that say things like: “I acknowledge receipt of your letter dated September 1, 2008. Please send your remittance.” Who talks like that – a computer? What is a remittance and why should I send it anyway?

Things get even more confusing if I contact customer service people directly. Two weeks ago, my roof sprang a leak and I naturally emailed my insurance company. They asked me whether the damage was from the rain or from a storm? I wrote back saying, “there’s just water pouring in from the roof and I’m not sure what caused it.”

They said they’d cover for storm damage but not rain damage. What does that mean? Is a storm just rain with a bit more wind? Who decides if it’s a storm rather than just a rainy, windy day? I mean, is there some guy in the insurance company who decides or do they call the guy on the RTE weather slot? They haven’t told me what to do so the water is still pouring in.

With all this bad weather – and stress – my stomach’s been bothering me more than usual. My doctor has scheduled a procedure to test for ulcers. I hesitantly rang my healthcare provider to see if I’m covered. They started talking generally about deductibles and how it all depends on the hospital and the plan I’ve chosen. I don’t care about all that. I just want to know – specifically – how much it’s going to cost me. Is that too much to ask?

I always thought I was smart – I have an MA in philosophy for goodness sake – but the phrases these companies use are, well, just a mystery to me.

Don’t get me started on the emails I get from my solicitor. What planet is she on? The first time I met her she was great. She totally understood the needs of my growing business. Then I received their “terms of engagement” letter! I’ll tell you, diary, it was scary. I thought I was in the principal’s office after school. It was all “If you do this, then we’ll do that. If you cross the line then we’ll do blah.” Needless to say, I won’t be using that law firm.

Why can’t the companies that I have to deal with on a regular basis – the bank, the insurance company, the healthcare organisation, the government and my law firm – talk to me in language I understand?

Dear Reader,
What a terrible ordeal. It must be frustrating to feel like a teenager again. Nobody understood how you felt then and, unfortunately, many companies aren’t interested in speaking their customers’ language now.

The corporate ego has got in the way. Companies are so busy thinking about their targets, deadlines and profit margins that they’ve forgotten the reason they are in business – to service the needs of their customers.

Talking to the customer is old-fashioned – and to be avoided – so companies don’t know who you are, they don’t bother to find out and their word choices can make you feel stupid.

Language is simply a tool to communicate a message. Yet, many professions have smashed the most valuable item in their toolbox with a jargon hammer.

Doctors speak of myocardial infarctions rather than heart attacks; bankers talk about compound interest instead of making money on money already saved; solicitors use archaic language that no one understands. Customers simply scratch their heads.

Lingo that only people “in the know” understand is dangerous. It allows vague phrases – like collateral damage rather than murder – to fill our minds with noise rather than information.

Good writers know that copy – direct mail, email, brochures and web copy – should never be about them. It must be about the reader. To get the message across they have to put themselves in the reader’s shoes.

Somewhere along a gobbledegook-strewn path, the business owner’s empathy for the customer morphed into blatant self-interest. The solution? Move your business to someone who speaks your language.

Margaret E. Ward is an Irish Times business columnist and a director of Clear Ink, the clear English specialists. Margaret@clearink.ie

The Minister for Social Affairs, Tea and No Sympathy wears a paper heart on his lapel and a pert smile on his face. The Minister for Communion Money wears a worried frown, a tight belt and a white coat with long, bulging pockets. Both men count out currency and move it into large golden sacks marked “Exchequer”. The clock strikes 9am.

Sympathy officer in Hatch 1: Next! Well, what have you got there?
First man: I’d like to apply for a looking-for-a-new-job payment. Officer: A what?
Man: An allowance.
SILENCE
Officer: You are not entitled to it.
Group of asylum seekers living in the toilets: (Singing) Not entitled, not entitled, not entitled . . .
Man: But I’ve worked . . .
Officer: No.
Man: I have the credits.
Officer: We only have Exchequer money and you’re not entitled to it. It’s ours.
Man: Why don’t I qualify?
Officer: That’s none of your business.
Man: Am I eligible for another payment?
Officer: Read this. (With help from a colleague she hands him a large, dusty book).
Man: These pages are full of gobbledegook written in tiny print. Where should I look?
Officer: I don’t care.
Man: What do you want me to read?
Officer: The rule.
Man: What rule?
Officer: I don’t know.
Man: Then why did you hand it to me?
Officer: You should know. It’s up to citizens to inform themselves of their rights. We’re not a nanny-state.
Man: Can I please see your supervisor?
(The supervisor walks over and stares blankly at the man.)
Man: (Quietly) I lost my job and I’m here to claim my I’m-trying- to-get-work payment. Can you please explain the rule mentioned by your officer?
Supervisor: (Loudly) This is an administration office not an information kiosk!
Asylum seekers: (Singing) No information, no information, no information . . .
Man: Can you please just take a look at my application and tell me what to do?
Supervisor: Hmmm. I see from your paper work that once, during the last two years, you took a holiday. That’s very suspicious.
Man: My trip to Liverpool? I was visiting my dying aunt.
Supervisor: (Mouths “sponger” to the ministers. They nod.) You have not been living here long enough to claim anything. You need two years’ residency and must speak English.
Man: I’m a Dub! Before I was laid off, I paid my taxes just like everyone else. I went on two holidays in the last 10 years.
Supervisor: Two? On your way.
Man: I want a written explanation for why I am being turned down.
Supervisor: Sure. Here.
Man: This is a blank piece of paper.
Supervisor: Is it? Next!
(A woman in her late 20s approaches the hatch.)
Woman: Hello. Here is my case number. I have two disabled children and I am here to pick up my please-gimme-a-break grant.
Supervisor: We are not a cash machine.
Woman: Sorry?
Supervisor: This is not an ATM.
Woman: Yes, I know. I’m just here to pick up my grant. I won my appeal after two years.
Supervisor: No.
Woman: Here is the letter.
Supervisor: It is wrong. We have no money for you.
Woman: Look, my kids need 24-hour care and I have not had a break since they were born five years ago. My marriage has broken up and I don’t have any family nearby.
Supervisor: Move home.
Woman: (Sighs) Please can I just have my cheque?
Supervisor: Let’s look at your file. (He pulls out a white folder with dirty boot prints all over it. Fast-food wrappers fall out.) Here’s your family photo. These kids look fine to me. What are you moaning about? Some people can’t even have children. Next!
(An older man, using a walker, shuffles up to the hatch.)
Officer: (Taps watch and rolls eyes.) It took you ages. Why are you here?
Man: For my can’t-work- because-I’m-hurt allowance.
Officer: I told you yesterday that you’re not young enough. You have to be over 16 and under 66.
Man: Here is my birth certificate, passport and driver’s licence. They all say I am 55.
Officer: Sorry but we can’t trust the paperwork from your country. I mean, you were born at home instead of in a hospital. How do I know this isn’t your younger brother? You people all look alike.
Man: I told you already. I was born in America to Irish parents. We came back when I was three years old. I left Dublin to work in the States 10 years ago, came back two years ago and was hit by a joyrider outside Merrion Square and now I can’t work.
Officer: Yes, exactly. You are a sponging foreigner. Next!

Margaret E. Ward is a journalist specialising in personal finance and consumer issues. She is also a director of Clear Ink, the Clear English Specialists. cents@clearink.ie© 2007 Clear Ink

Businesses have identified a significant deficit among employees and are struggling to remedy it, writes Margaret E.Ward

Bertie is trying to tell me something. Every time I walk along a street or drive my car, his gaze follows me from those election posters. At home, Bertie the Bus even pops up in Thomas the Tank Engine books.

What do those sad, puppy dog eyes and hunched shoulders mean? Oh Bertie, have you had enough governing? Are you too tired to go on or are you simply reducing your make-up costs in the first move toward a balanced budget?

Messages, intended or otherwise, are communicated in many ways. The election poster beauty parade may imply Fine Gael and the PDs have sunny, blue-sky dispositions but Fianna Fáil’s dull green might mean they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Either way, a vote for the most photogenic candidate certainly won’t get you off a trolley in A&E.

Elections are like Junior Cert exams: they avoid any real debate, send simplistic messages and cost society a great deal more than originally estimated.

The State’s chief examiner in English recently pointed out that writing standards of Junior Cert students are slipping. This next generation of voters chooses to communicate using short sentences, simple tenses and a limited vocabulary, according to the report.

Generation Text should have no problem speaking in politician-sized soundbites specially crafted for the Six One News. The examiner also found that students were giving minimalist answers to questions. They must be learning from the politicians who appear on Morning Ireland.

Students are simply working the points-based system. They have learned how to score on exams rather than how to express original, logical, well- structured thoughts. Next year, why don’t they just let students list the facts in bullet points?

The Government educates our children – the future workforce – using our taxes. Does the points system really deliver value for our money?

Teachers know that these exams cannot possibly test the full range of students’ knowledge. The Association of Secondary Teachers Ireland (ASTI) commented on the report: “We do need to ensure that appropriate standards are maintained in spelling, punctuation and grammar but the modest and fair recommendations of the chief examiners should not lead us to forget that the sheer wonder of language is in its adaptability, its individuality and its variousness.”

Our young people are extremely intelligent and savvy. New technology allows them to communicate and process information in a different way from their parents. Many regularly write insightful blogs, publish journals and read their contemporaries’ work online.

Like every generation of adolescents, they also speak an exclusive language. Remember phrases of approval such as: “That’s swell, Daddy-O” or “Like, that is so totally gnarly, dude”. Today’s tribe talks text.

Language is a tool. Its shape changes with our needs. A hammer was not always a hammer. Once, it was probably a rock or another caveman’s head. Writing and speaking are designed to do one thing: communicate a message to a particular audience.

Most school students go to university or join the workforce but the exam system leaves them badly equipped for this important phase in their lives. If you buy a vacuum cleaner and it does not remove the dust from the floor, then it is not fit for its intended purpose. Consumer legislation says you have a right to take it back. You can’t return an education, yet third-level institutions and businesses report that many people lack basic communication skills.

This failure to express information or opinions clearly has far-reaching implications for our society, culture and economy, if the international experience is anything to go by.

Writing Matters, a study sponsored by the Royal Literary Fund, found that a worrying number of university students don’t know how to structure a sentence or express themselves in writing. In the United States, the National Commission on Writing recently reported that American organisations spend more than $3 billion (€2.2 billion) a year teaching employees to write clearly.

Writing and speaking are no longer purely academic issues. Irish businesses have identified a significant skills gap among employees and they are struggling to remedy it.

The costs are high: poor communication can damage reputations, lose money, reduce productivity and alienate customers.

If our tiny island wants to remain competitive on the world stage, we must be smarter, faster and communicate more clearly than our competitors.

Now, the next steps: take down those sad posters and start a real debate.

Contact Margaret at: cents@clearink.ie
© 2007 Clear Ink

If, like me, you blew it all on sweets down the corner shop, you may also remember the tummy ache that followed. That said, it probably didn’t prevent you from spending the next few shillings the same way.
 
As a nation, our personal finances have not changed much since then. Imagine four million children with sweaty coins in their hands waiting for the newsagent to open and you’ll get the picture.

Surprisingly, a recent survey by an international consumer think-tank found we are financially sophisticated compared to our European counterparts. The Future Foundation’s press release trumpets: ” ‘Shrewd’ Irish, the largest consumers of personal finance information”.

Let’s take a look behind the survey’s statements and statistics to see what these figures really say about our attitude toward money.

Thirty seven per cent of Irish people are likely to research financial services before shelling out for them, according to the survey.

Behind the scenes, this is what really happens: “Hi. Here’s the cheque. I trust you [ broker, bank manager, accountant, friend], just go ahead with that. I don’t need to look at your commission rates or whether or not you offer independent advice.”

Fifty per cent of us borrow to buy stuff we want rather than paying off debt, according to the survey. Meaning: “Gimme that and that and, oh yes, it’s gorgeous, that as well. Don’t worry about the cost, I can just take out another loan against the equity in my home!”

We are apparently also the most likely in Europe to have a savings product while also being in debt.

That all too often translates as: “I pay 30 per cent on my store card, 18.9 per cent on my credit card but, hey I am really a saver. I get a whopping 4 per cent on my savings. Dirt tax? What’s that? Call my cleaner.”

Financial service providers are laughing all the way to the bank. Selling to the Irish public is like taking candy from a baby. It is just so damn easy.

The survey says on average, we own four financial products. That adds up to serious commission and fees. It’s no wonder that Irish banks are among the most profitable in Europe.

WE ARE ALSO at the top of the table when it comes to trusting the advice offered by financial institutions, according to the survey. This is despite the sneaky equity SSIA exit charges, several bank-overcharging incidents, the Eircom debacle and Tony Taylor. Why is this? It makes no sense.

The reason is we don’t understand finance, being too embarrassed, or too busy, to do anything about it. It is all very new, complex and takes ages to comprehend.

This is exactly what service providers would like you to believe. Loans, insurance, pensions and investments are not that complicated, but they are hard to compare, thanks to the language used and the product design. I’ve been writing about personal finance for nearly 10 years and, at times, I still scratch my head in wonder.

Thankfully, things are changing. Last summer, the Irish Financial Services Regulatory Authority released its long-awaited consumer protection code, which said: “A regulated entity must ensure that all information it provides to a consumer is clear and comprehensible.”

Some organisations are taking steps to translate their materials into clear English to ensure readers understand them. Others are sitting back to see what, if anything, will happen if they don’t.

There is something we can all do to ensure organisations use language that communicates rather than obscures. If you don’t understand a product or service and no one can explain it to you in terms you do understand, don’t even think about buying it. Simply walk away.

This applies to every service provider, from a stockbroker or a solicitor to a doctor or the Government. If people cannot express themselves clearly, can they actually know what they are talking about? It’s unlikely. Would you really trust them to look after your money or your life?

Please let me know. Share your thoughts, triumphs, grievances and personal money stories. After all, this column is about you and your money.

Margaret E. Ward is a journalist specialising in personal finance and consumer issues. She is also a director of Clear Ink, a professional writing, editing and training service. Email: margaret@clearink.ie